Keep on shining bright :)

What’s with this title? Well one of my favorite songs right now is called “Brighter” and it’s by Paramore. You may have heard of it, or even listened to it before. Either way, throughout the song, the lyrics “you shine brighter than anyone does” repeat. And then, at the end, she sings, “I’ll wave goodbye watching you shine bright.” I also read a book called Burned by Ellen Hopkins. In the book, a girl with low self esteem is sent to the wilds of Nevada to live with her aunt. She finds a boyfriend who loves her, but she can’t see her own beauty. One thing the aunt says from beginning to end of the book is for her to keep on shining her light bright. And that’s where the title comes from.

While in the car to Key Largo, I was thinking long and hard about this. What is “this” exactly? “This” is leaving. Leaving my site. Quitting. Although I’m not going to call it “quitting” because that is not the same thing as leaving. Quitting is when losers raise both of their hands and say “you know what, I’m done. I’m lazy. This is too hard. This really stinks. Adios.” I am not doing that. I’m leaving because I’m ready to. For the past few months I’ve hardly posted, as many of you have noticed. Fewer and fewer people have been coming too. I guess I’ve lost my magic touch, eh? I’m not doing this to attract attention. I’m not doing this for the drama or for pleasure. I’m doing this for real.

I’m not going to suddenly fall off the face of the Earth or anything, because that really hurts. I’m going to let my site and myself fade away into the background noise. And then, one day, something will you remind you of me. Maybe someone named Connor. Maybe you’ll have to do a tessellation in Math. Maybe you’ll have potatoes with a side of hobo for dinner, and you’ll remember my site and me. Then you’ll go to your computer and come here. You’ll see that the last post was published like half a year ago. Perhaps you’ll be bummed for the rest of the day, thinking I was a loser. OR maybe you’ll reread the post, smile, and think, “I was lucky enough to know Connor.” Numerous people have revealed how much they enjoy me, such as Lauren. In the goodbye letter she gave me when she quit her online activity on WordPress, etc., she implied anyone lucky enough to know me is blessed. Some peoples’ compliments are worthless. But when you’re complimented by people you’re close to, it feels like you’re the boss of the world. (sorreh, went off topic there.)

I have to tell you guys though, there’s been some hawt times here. When I used to post CP, I got a ton of traffic, and some of that worthless traffic became priceless friends. My most proud and favorite example that I’m not going to extrapolate on because I have before.. is meeting and becoming friends with Clonez. Two peas in a pod! Hahah, he’s got to be one of the nicest people I’ve ever met. And it didn’t even start out like that, but something about him just made me want to be friends with him! Now look. Anyway, even after I stopped posting CP in June or July, those wonderful friends kept on coming back and back. That’s what you call loyal. (: Everyone was always so nice on here. The thing I love so much about this whole internet life thing is that people can’t judge you by your looks. You know that whoever you’re talking to likes you for you, and that’s it. You can’t get that in school or anywhere. People may judge you by your clothes or looks before they even get to know you; their loss. And I’m not going to lie. I’ve judged like that before. It’s a bad habit, but one that I’m sure everyone has done before.

40,000 hits. I could have NEVER ever in my wildest dreams ever expected that. But that wasn’t me! (Well I suppose it is me, because I’m the writer) but it was MAINLY you guys! When I joined WordPress in December 2007, I was doing it basically to be like one of my friends at the time. Unfortunately, he left meh in January 2008, and I just kept blogging. Then I started picking up friends… Lauren… Kran… Matt… and numerous others. I hope I left impressions on some of you guys. Change is something that always happens, whether or not you want it to. Change makes people drift. Interests change. When I first joined, I was so interested in Club Penguin and blogging. But, I changed, as you can see. I’m not really into blogging anymore. Definitely not Club Penguin! But that’s okay. I used to be somewhat afraid of change. Now I welcome it. A new way to meet new people and be outside my “safety zone.” I feel the same way in real life, too. A year ago, I’d be deathly afraid of going to high school because it is unknown territory and things change so much. But now, I can’t WAIT for high school because along with change comes new opportunities and new friends. Ya know? I hope you guys are kind enough not to try to stop me or my decision. I’ve decided, and nothing will change my mind at this point. I know some people might try, but save your breath–or well more like typing I guess.

If you’re wondering if I’m going to post anywhere else, the answer is yes I am. I’m not going to say where, but a few people may know. I don’t want to say where because I want to re-start with no ties whatsoever. I already work there and it’s like my favorite website. I don’t post often, but I like being able to be myself and not being rushed to post. ahem. If you’re too depressed now, then no worries! Add me on MSN. But, if I’m already added on yours now, then you’ll know that I don’t log on very often. I guess I’ve changed in that respect too. I’ve been socializing with more ‘real’ friends lately on Skype and Facebook and stuff. Sorry, but not adding anyone to either of those, obviously because there’s personal things on both. If you don’t have an MSN, you can add me on Aim (Amy ;D). MSN address: connor.dude@live.com | Aim address: connorr134.

I hope no one thinks I’m letting anyone down, because that’s not my intention at all. Some of you may think I’m giving up. Some may think I am in fact, just leaving. Some of you guys might be sad. Maybe some happy [for me]. But I think I’m turning over a new leaf, and I hope you’re proud of me. And with that, I’ll see you around. Like I said earlier, I’ll still post, but less and less, and before too long I won’t post at all. This site won’t ever be deleted though, I promise.

-Connor